For weeks, the emotion was intense. Powerful. Moving. Compelling. And yet for weeks, it was contained to the three walls onstage. The actors rehearsing experienced it. But tonight was different. Tonight someone else experienced the emotion. Someone else laughed. Someone else cried. Someone else was moved. Someone else was there watching – an audience.

Opening nights are magical. There’s something indescribable about them – excitement, nervousness, anticipation, the unknown. And when opening night is also the opening of a world premiere, it’s even more magical. For one special night, the unknown becomes known. The imagined becomes reality. A hidden plot is revealed.

As the writer of Estranged Identity, watching the audience’s reaction to the unveiling of my show is the best part. Hearing laughter, seeing tears, sensing anticipation or listening to applause reveals emotion transferred from actors to audience. Knowing that the emotion is being shared beyond the fourth wall is an indescribable feeling. On opening night, I witnessed this transfer of emotion. The audience laughed, cried, and applauded. Sharing the gift of emotion in my show and watching the audience embrace it was the highlight I took away from opening night.

Opening night has now come and gone. But three more performances remain of Estranged Identity. Each performance is an opening night in itself, an unveiling to new eyes and ears. A new audience comes to see and hear what they’ve never seen or heard before. Each night, someone else experiences emotion. Someone else laughs. Someone else cries. Someone else is moved. Someone else is there watching. Will it be you?

I am used to working behind the scenes, organizing and rallying people together. Not this time. As a chorus member (or Townsperson) in Estranged Identity I am now on the stage and a part of every rehearsal.

Tonight the orchestra joined us for an entire musical rehearsal. Not rehearsing the entire musical, but rehearsing all of the music. When Tiffany provided us with the CD containing the musical accompaniment I thought it was amazing. The layers were beautifully woven together. She has quite a talent and gift! Then tonight, to hear the orchestra play and for us to accompany it with our voices – oh so very rich. I play a little piano, but I am in awe of those musicians who put their talents together, under an accomplished conductor, and fill the room with fantastic layers. And only part of the orchestra was present tonight! Y ou will want to come the next two weekends and walk into Mt. Hood Community College theater and bask in the lovely sounds filling the room!

After rehearsing the song I am a part of, I wandered to another room where makeup was being experimented with – those demon faces were finally taking on life. Here I was greeted by another wonder for me to behold: more artists using their craft to create personality by applying bold colors and lines to faces. Most of the faces leaving this room were not recognizable as themselves. The makeup artists had transformed them; now their characters can really come alive!

Only a few more short days and we’ll see the entire thing come together. What a gift to me to be a part of this bigger thing, this beautiful thing and the best part is the new, interesting and varied people I have met. You’ll want to meet them too – come up close after the show and just marvel at the musicians, the amazing makeup, the costumes and the real people behind the characters.

I came into Estranged Identity not knowing many of the other actors or people involved, but ready to make new friendships and enjoy the process of bringing to life a story. I play one of the seven demons and as you can imagine the seven of us spend most of our time in rehearsals together. Over the last few months we have had some great times and become friends.

This being said, we still haven’t known each other for long, so when our fight director walked in last week and started showing us how to look like we were beating each other up, it felt like a bit of a step in the wrong direction as far as making lasting friendships goes. Grabbing someone by the shoulders, spinning them around and appearing to punch them in the stomach is a little less than friendly. As the rehearsals continue, we are gaining knowledge and confidence in ourselves, but to me it still feels like I am beating up my friend.

Tonight we learned the rest of our last fight and were able to bring our first fight up to full speed. When we did this and carried it out within the process of saying the lines that go along with it, all of the sudden it seemed like everyone fell into character. No more was it Anna “hitting” me in the stomach! It was Anger exploding at all of us and throwing herself into our mist, Revenge pulling us apart and then all of us freezing with Deception’s threat against our lives. Something had changed. After going home and thinking it through, I realized it was our characters creating violence not us. That’s why it was so easy to laugh and have fun after “beating each other up.”

I have really been enjoying my time with the people here. I am not sure about everyone else, but I am feeling the energy come into this show. The energy that comes when you no longer see a person is acting out a part on stage, but you see the character as a real living and breathing person. These next few weeks promise to be very exciting as we get closer and closer to opening night. I hope to see all of your faces in the audience!

Today starts the last week before tech. week for Estranged Identity! Wow, time flies! Before I begin, I must say how much I admire Trueheart Productions. This truly is the most heartfelt production I’ve ever performed in.

I’m Daniel Goodman, a 25-year-old actor from Birmingham, Alabama, and I’m playing Caleb and the demon Revenge. As the play begins, we see young Caleb and his lover Anne meet in secret outside in the middle of the night. Even though they’ve been in love since they were kids, their love is forbidden because Anne was recently married off to an established older man. She’s written him a letter to end their relationship, and in the letter, she discloses a secret that will haunt him and his family beyond his death. We fast forward 40 years later (and 4 minutes of speedily applying aging make-up and a gray beard), and on his death-bed, Caleb’s secret letter is discovered by his oldest son. Then, after Caleb’s death, I’m going to quickly change again and wash off the aging make-up to apply evil, demented make-up to become the demon Revenge who possesses Mary Magdalene! What an amazing challenge!?

The most challenging scene for me is the scene in which I die at the feet of my son Jaden, played by the incredible Bryce Barclay. We sing a heart-wrenching duet about what it’s like to feel like an outcast. The dissonant harmonies subtly reflect the struggles we have communicating with one another. Tiffany is SO SMART! And she’s done a good job of making us smart singers too! There were some notes in there that were so hard to find, but she’s drilled them into our heads, and it’s going to sound fantastic. Praise is also due to Mr. Barclay and Mrs. Harris who are helping me to understand what it feels like to live with such an incriminating secret for 40 years. And they’re helping me imagine what a father/son relationship would be like from the opposite perspective. AND on top of all of that, they’re helping me understand what it should feel like in my body to be old and very near death. I’ve still got a lot of work to do on this scene, but it’ll get there because two weeks in the theatre world may as well be 40 years outside of it.

And when I’m not busy rehearsing my death, I get to have a riot with all of the demons–quite literally sometimes. We’re having a really good time learning the dance and fight choreography, but you’ll never know that as an audience member because we’re going to look extremely demented…because we’re demons…get it!? HAHA! But seriously, Lorianne’s choreography is chilling. Also, the movement work that we’ve done with her and Mrs. Harris for the scenes has been such fun work, but again, it’s not going to look pretty. You’re going to be utterly creeped out, and you’re going to love it! My character, Revenge, is seriously dangerous because he won’t stop until blood is spilled. Even that is mere fuel for the desire for more blood. He’s employed as the perfect weapon for Deception who wants to see Mary ruined. He’s unworldly, inhuman, even serpentine. He slithers into Mary’s thoughts so that he can drive her to do the unthinkable.

And tonight we run through the whole show, so I’ve got lots of work to do between now and then! I hope to see you from the stage!

Trueheart Productions ran Estranged Identity‘s Act 2 in entirety for the first time tonight. All in all it went quite well, although I must confess I’ve still got a few lines I slip up on. I came away from it with several new ideas for my character, Mary, as well as helpful advice from the directors. Because there are still some facets of Mary’s character that I am working to understand, I often find that like first impressions of people, my initial interpretations of a character are not entirely correct.

Like most interesting people, Mary is a difficult personality to map and understand entirely. For me, there are two points that require quite a bit of research and reflection to understand. One is that she’s extroverted. The other is that she acts insane about sixty percent of the time.

Many of you may view playing a psychotic extrovert as something effortless, like buttering toast. But I unfortunately find playing an extrovert similar to putting a square block inside a round hole; it stodgily refuses to happen. It is one thing to make a vow, as Mary, to devote your life to destroying someone else’s in an introverted manner but quite another when you have to be extroverted about it.

It is also remarkable how little information is supplied on how to behave like an outgoing extrovert when you are a rather reticent introvert. There is a significantly greater amount of information on schizophrenia, agoraphobia, and other mental illnesses. I do wonder sometimes if scientists even consider whether the time they spend studying the migration patterns of large avians will be remotely helpful to most actors.

So, while I have become quite practiced at laughing maniacally, swinging from one mood to another in a heartbeat, threatening people, invading their personal space like it’s a city sidewalk, having panic attacks upon hearing certain words, and assaulting others in fits of rage. The extroverted part is one I have not entirely grasped.

And all jesting aside, I really do find it more difficult to portray Mary’s extroverted characteristics than her psychotic ones. Because the furious outbursts and rapidly changing personalities don’t have coherent thought processes, they are simply inexplicable jumps from emotion or thought to another. On the other hand, understanding the perspective of an extrovert and how that effects the character is like rewiring my mental processing. Extroversion and introversion are two entirely contrasting differences that refuse to coalesce because they are a single continuum; in order to have a high propensity towards one, you must be low in the other.

Tonight was amazing!  I play the remarkable, challenging part of the demon, Selfishness.  Rehearsal started with Mr. Lawrence Barclay, the director, urging us to put all our zest and passion into each and every rehearsal, and not just the actual performances.  He wants us to give him all we got, so that when the first performance comes we are not limp and weak in our acting.  It fills me with vigor and makes me tingle with anticipation to get on that stage and start performing!

Starting on our work for the night we did Act 1, scenes 9-10.  They are turning out extremely well!  It is amazing seeing it all come together as we now have most of the props, and people are being able to say their lines without the script! It is hard, though, for us demons.  As you can assume because it is a musical, there is dancing in this production, and therefore we must practice for it!  But the stage we practice on is challenging because it is awkwardly shaped and very small compared to the theatre we will be performing at.  But it is good to be stretched!  It reminds me of dough in the baker’s hands, being kneaded and rolled smoothed, then rolled up and patted down.  We are being worked through thoroughly with all the challenges we must undergo!

Next we worked on Act 2, scenes 1-4.  They are very intense and fun to act!  This is when some of the rising action takes place, and increasing tension is sure to be present in the audience!  It is very fun acting out powerful scenes that seem quite real to those watching, but really it is harmless!

Finally we went over one of the songs we dance and sing in.  John Carter, the conductor and music director, helped us articulate our words and put much breath and force into the them.  We went over the song several times getting better and better each time, till finally Mr. Barclay said to add our character facial expressions.  We did, and I confess it is hard to try to sing correctly, loudly and articulately, and scrunch up your face and look selfish, bitter and condemning all at the same time!  To further our moment of severe concentration, we had to then add the dance!  Phew!  And you know what that adds? Consciously moving into the right spots, doing the right moves at the right time, being confident and standing solid, and keeping our eyes focused on the proper place.  As you can see, it is hard!  Let’s just say, from now on I shall have a much greater position of respect and admiration for those in a musical or play!

It takes much effort, thought, and solid assurance to knit this all together, and we most certainly couldn’t do it without the amazing people who started it all!  Walk into our world of Estranged Identity.  You will most certainly be spellbound!

The process of writing a musical necessitates feeling and experiencing emotions to a depth that matches or exceeds reality.  Nineteen characters.  Nineteen people experiencing and responding to joy, excitement, and pain.  Nineteen voices coming to life.  But how?  In order for them to be real to the audience, they have to be real to the author first.  The author must feel their pain, experience their joy and view the world through their eyes. 
 
Feeling the emotions of characters yet to exist isn’t easy.  When script writing, I have found listening to music a great asset.  Music compels emotion – joy, courage, love, sadness, fear, tension and a myriad of other emotions depending on the composition.  Perhaps you’ve experienced sadness when listening to a melancholy song?  Or joy when listening to a triumphant song?  Or tension when listening to a dissonant song?
 
For Estranged Identity, a kaleidoscope of contrasting emotions necessitated being felt and experienced.  Happiness, grief, annoyance, playful-jesting, anger, bitterness, revenge, and joy are just a few of the vast collection in this script.  Several songs served as inspiration throughout this process.  The Overture from Sweeney Todd by Stephen Sondheim and Mars from The Planets by Gustav Holst aided when crafting the demon characters.  Ratatouille and Chicken Run were helpful when creating positive character emotions.  I also enjoyed listening to a few other songs when writing – Dvorak’s New World Symphony, Don’t Cry for Me Argentina from Evita, Lily’s Eyes from The Secret Garden, Johanna and By the Sea from Sweeney Todd, as well as the entire score from Ragtime. 
 
The process of feeling and experiencing the emotions of my characters wasn’t easy.  But with the help of great music, nineteen characters came to life.  Nineteen people experience and respond to joy, excitement, and pain.  Nineteen voices are heard.  And if you come to see Estranged Identity, nineteen characters will draw you into their lives, enabling you to feel their pain, experience their joy and view the world through their eyes. 

Contributed by Jude Dowell

I play an illegitimate beggar boy named Cohen.  I am a rude and obnoxious boy.  I make everyone mad.  No one cares for me and I don’t care for them either.

Well, today I worked on a song called, “She’s Crazy.”  It was a lot of fun.  I had to dance and sing of course.  The dancing was kind of hard because I have never danced before, but soon I will get the moves down.  I also worked on Act 2, scenes 8 and 9.  In scene 8, I was at the end of the scene and I was trying to talk to Mary about Yeshua, but she wouldn’t listen, so then I had to sing to her.  After that I went to go find Yeshua.  In scene 9, I did – wait!  What I did next I can’t tell you!  You’ll just have to watch the play!  Ha ha!